Best English Jokes

Your English is !!!

John Paul II in an interview:
"I went to America. They asked me: Why do You come to America?
I said: I come to America to polish my English.
So they said to me: Your English is polish enough!"

Eraser !!!

Mother: "Why are you home from school so early?"
Son: "I was the only one who could answer a question."
Mother: "Oh, really? What was the question?"
Son: "Who threw the eraser at the principal?" 

Same Blood !!!

A rich Sardarji needed blood for his heart surgery.
He got it from a poor Bania.

Sardarji gave him 5 million dollars. Once again the Sardar needed blood for surgery.
Bania was more than happy to donated blood again. This time, Sardar just gave him a Cadburies Chocolate. Bania asked the reason.

Sardar: Now I also have Bania blood in my body.

One Apple Everyday !!! 

A Sardar Doctor and Pundit loved same girl.
Pundit started giving an apple to the girl every day.
Sardar Doctor asked: WHY ??

Pundit: An apple a day keeps the doctor away! 

Who Will Marry !!!

Girlfriend to Boyfriend: Now it is time we should marry.
Boyfriend: That's ok, but who will marry us. 
Santa has to sell his dog. Banta wants to buy it.
Banta: Is this dog faithful ?
Santa: Yes, I have sold it 3 times earlier also. It is so faithful, every time it returned back to me.

Upside Down !!! 

Yoga teacher to a woman: Has yoga any effect over your husband’s drinking habit?

Woman: Yes, An Amazing Funny Effect !! Now he drinks the whole bottle standing upside down over his head. 

Salary !!! 

Funny Sharma was filling up application form for a job.
He was not sure what to be filled in column "Salary Expected".

After much thought he wrote: YES


Same Reason !!! 

Santa: I got married because I was tired of cooking, cleaning home and washing clothes. Banta: Amazing, I got divorce for the same reason.

Why and Why? 

Santa asks Priest: Why did god make women so beautiful?
Priest: So that you will love them.

Santa thinks for a short time...
Santa: But why did God make them so dumb?
Priest: So that they will love you.


One Apple Everyday !!! 

Banta to Lawyer: What is your fees?
Lawyer: Rs 5000/- for 3 questions.

Banta: Isn't it too high?
Lawyer: Yes, it is. What is your third question?


Survive !!!

Boyfriend: Do you think my salary is sufficient for you?

Funny Girlfriend: It is sufficient for me, but how will you survive?

More Jokes are coming up !!!


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